It’s funny how much the ambient presence of other people plays into my state of mind. Both of my roommates have left early for their Thanksgiving holiday, and minus the humming of my computer fans, the apartment is disquietingly… quiet.
This hits me fairly hard, because I had planned on living alone for a while after graduating — unless I somehow get into NYU’s grad film program. Being financially stable and independent for the first time in my life, I figured that living alone would be some broad stroke into establishing myself and moving forward.
No go, though. It’s not so much the fact that nobody’s here — I’m alone more often than not in this apartment anyway. I guess it’s the irrefutable fact that no one’s going to be here. Say I fell down the stairs, or choked on a strawberry, or fell asleep inside the oven? No one would know until I stopped showing up for work, and then who would take care of my hamster?!
I’m stressing out pretty hardcore at the moment because of the 1.6 billion approaching deadlines that I have. Besides school (ten page research paper, two second-midterms) and the impending deadline to submit my NYU application (which requires a film portfolio, personal statement, script for a 4-minute silent film, a written two-character dialog scene, and a treatment for a feature-length), I’m also still feverishly rattling the peas inside my tin can head for a better story for my senior film. My usual method of thinking in the shower has proven a bit futile lately, but sure is making my utility company happy.
Speaking of Scoot, I talked to him for almost half an hour today, to stop from becoming a quivering pile of nerves. He holds better conversation than most of the people who usually call me — he doesn’t ask me to fix his computer or help set up his iPod, or how to import footage from an HD camera onto a Mac hard drive, or whether or not I’m going to San Diego this weekend and if I could possibly pick someone or something up for him. All he wants is sunflower seeds, and I’m his dealer.
Yeah, it’s a pretty serious relationship.
